Well, there hasn't been much news on the adoption front in the past months. It appears as if we're still "unofficially" 17th on the list- the same place we were in October. Bummer.
However, on a positive note, many of the families ahead of us in the process are getting through court and are receiving embassy dates, which means that they will be bringing their babies home soon!
On another positive note, a family from our agency that recently traveled to Ethiopia reported that there are "lots" of babies in the transition home right now. Many of these babies haven't been referred to families yet because either they do not have all of the necessary paperwork or they are not healthy enough right now. The babies are receiving really good care from the doctors, nurses, and staff at the transition home, so as soon as they are healthy (relatively speaking) and/or as soon as the documents are obtained, they will become available. I heard about a baby that arrived in the transition home in October, but wasn't referred to a family until December, so it's possible that our baby could even be there now... though I'm not getting my hopes up on that one.
What I have learned through all of this is that there is no "normal"- we really can't count on anything in terms of time frames. We're still hoping to receive our referral within the original 4-6 month window we were given, but we're also anticipating and trying to prepare ourselves that it could be longer than that.
And it's hard to wait. Really hard. It feels like we've been in a perpetual state of waiting for the past four years, and sometimes it feels like there's no end in sight. I honestly sometimes wonder if the pain and the longing and the tears and the crying out to God are ever going to end... they've been a constant companion for so long, I almost can't imagine what it's like to not feel this way- to not be waiting anymore, to not have to bear up under the sorrow and disappointment, to not experience moments of acute, gut-wrenching, take-your-breath-away pain.
And I know we aren't the only ones who experience these things... lots of people wait, wait for spouses, wait for healing, wait for employment, etc. and none of it is easy- especially when you can't see the end in sight and you wonder if there ever is going to be an "end". I'm not trying to evoke pity or sympathy, this is just reality for us (and so many others- we are keenly aware of the fact that there are others suffering under the weight of burdens far heavier than ours).
So, with all that said, here are three things I'm trying to take away from all of this...
One, we don't deserve anything from God. We are his creatures and we exist for him. He doesn't owe us anything. But in giving us Jesus, he has given us above and beyond what we deserve, not to mention all of the other earthly blessings we enjoy that we don't deserve. Despite the pain and sorrow, we are still overwhelmed by the mercy and grace of God in our lives...
Two, the pain is a reminder that we live under the curse. This world is not our home. Let the pain be a catalyst to stir and intensify our longings for the day when Christ will return and take us to heaven where there will be no more sorrow or tears.
Three, we have the precious promises of God to look to when we don't see the end in sight. We know that "no good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly." We know that our suffering is not in vain; the bible tells us that we can even "rejoice in our sufferings, because suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character and character produces hope and hope does not disappoint us because God's love has been poured in our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us."
And we know that God is not absent in our trials... He sees us and he loves us. And that is enough.
1.05.2011
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6 comments:
The pain and the longing and the tears and the crying out to God, it does end, I promise. And when it ends you will feel a new sort of love instantly and it is bigger than you ever imagined.
Praying for you guys despite not really knowing you.
This was lovely and very well-written. Thank you for sharing so honestly and your faith is inspiring. I am praying that your beautiful baby will be home soon.
Ohhh Sara, thank you for sharing your heart so openly in this. I got choked up just reading it. Your sincerity and conviction despite the hard road you guys have been on is so evident. God sees your pain and tears and holds you in his hands. Like you said so beautifully, "Let the pain be a catalyst to stir and intensify our longings for the day when Christ will return and take us to heaven where there will be no more sorrow or tears." Love, love that.
We continue to pray and plead on your behalf that you won't have long to wait, and that as you wait God will give you peace and comfort unlike anything you've known before to help ease the difficulty.
Such great Scriptures you shared! What a comfort. 1 Peter 4:12-19 has been a real source of encouragement to me lately and I hope it can be to you as well. What a gift God's precious promises are to us. Keep resting in him and leaning on his strength, he will get you through. Hang in there!
Love you sara. thanks for sharing this window into your heart. praying all the harder for your little one to be in a transition home now or soon and for you to see their little picture and meet them sooner than we even expect.
Psalm 126:5
Hearing the pain of your waiting is painful to read. I hate to think of the suffering that you and Don have been through in this process. And yet the truths that you cling to are so encouraging to me and help ME deal with my own pain over you pain which is such a miniscule fraction of what you're experiencing. You endurance and faith always amaze and convict me. I'm so thankful that you shared this. It brings me to my knees in prayer for you all the harder as you wait for God's perfect timing. Love you and am so thankful for you, Sar.
Keep preaching to yourself, Sara. Fight to believe the truth you know. We're waiting with you.
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