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God Knows

Yesterday we got an email saying that the wait times for infant boys have increased again, and the wait is now 10-16 months. We are four days away from being at 10 months... and definitely part of the group that gets to the end only to have the end move further away from us (it was 4-6 months when we first sent in our dossier, at 6 months we were told 6-8 months, and at 8 months we were told 7-10, and now 10-16).

Reading something like this after all of these months (and years) knocks the wind right out of you. I felt like I couldn't breathe for a few moments, and I was barely able to compose myself enough to be able to call Don and tell him the update. 

It's hard. Really, really hard. And I don't even want to talk about it anymore. The pain and disappointment run deep and contain many complicated layers that I wouldn't be able to explain anyway.

But God was gracious to remind me today through many tears that He knows, He understands, and He is near. 
He never withdraws himself from his afflicted. He is their help, truly, effectually, constantly; he is present or near them, close at their side and ready to provide help... he is more present than friend or relative can be, yea, more nearly present than even the trouble itself.- Spurgeon on Psalm 46
Thank you to so many of you who have stood by us in prayer throughout these many months. It looks like it could still be a long road, and we appreciate your continued prayers. 



Corrie and Phil said...

Oh, Sara! We ache for you. I know there are no words of consolation. Just know that you are loved...by so many.

Thinking of you, my dear friend!!!

Rochelle said...

My heart just broke for you!! I am so sorry friend. I totally get the desire to stop talking about it... like pretending it's not happening somehow makes the heartache less deep, less real. In slightly different ways, I've been there.

But... God knows completely each thought, each fear, each doubt, each tear. Cry out to him & let him mend your broken heart. Jeremiah 33:3. If you have some time, I'd encourage you to listen to/watch this sermon (only available til this Sunday): http://www.jamesmacdonald.com/teaching/video/

Don't lose heart. 2 Cor. 4:16-18

[I hope none of this sounds trite! I don't ever, at all, mean to minimize your pain & sadness!! {{hugs}} Hang in there!] Looking forward to catching up fully next week!

Heidi said...

Oh, Sara. I'm so sad to hear this news. :( I know I can't feel your pain, but my heart aches for you and Don. I can't imagine the many, many layers of disappointment and hardship you have faced and continue to struggle through. Love you.

Jen B. said...

Sara - I am so sorry. Dan and I are with you and Don in prayer, both for your little guy and for your faith. We love you.

Mindy said...

Prayers for you lady.

The De Jager Family said...

Praying for you in this incredibly difficult time... Thank you so much for sharing, even though I'm sure it's hard. Praying for a miracle, that God expedites the process!

Rachel Jones said...

Love you Sara

sasha parker said...

praying for you all!

Marcy Yonker said...

Praying for you Sara, your faith is AMAZING and INSPIRING! Can't imagine your heartache but we will continue to pray for you and Don and your little boy!